Why a Balanced Life Blogger and Culture First Leader Cringes When I Hear “Work/Life Balance”

It never fails, when I try to explain the beautiful, balanced culture we are building at KidGlov (focused on finding joy in our work), someone inevitably says, “Oh, you mean good work/life balance?”

No, I emphatically do not mean that.

Whether we are at the office, at the grocery store, working out, eating out, vacationing or at a kids event, it’s ALL LIFE, my friend.

And every single one of these things is bound to creep into the other no matter how hard we try to keep things separate—a work email on vacation, a family call at the office, a text you simply have to respond to between your sets of burpees.

The way I see it, we have two options in the never-ending pursuit of achieving a balanced life:

Option A

1. Keep fighting to compartmentalize every bit of life to force it to fall in the perfect hours of the day and days of the week to maintain “work/life balance.”
2. Get mad at ourselves when inevitably this attempt fails.
3. Blame ourselves, instead of acknowledging that life is going to happen when life happens no matter how hard we push back.
4. Spiral into misery caused by barking thoughts and “shoulding” in our head.
5. Either run ourselves ragged continuing the spiral and attempting to find the fix.
6. Or fall into a puddle on the ground exhausted, participating in very little of the “life” we were trying so hard to maintain.

Option B

1. Recognize every bit of our life is just that, our life.
2. Practice finding and maintaining balance in the WHOLE DARN THING—work, family, friends, wellness, rest, and fun.
3. Using mindfulness as our guide (that helps us tune into the whispers our body is trying to tell us) we can sense when we are experiencing too little or too much of ANY of these pieces of life.
4. Then do our best to maintain routines, practices, and boundaries that put these pieces back into balance.
5. Tip the scales in one life direction or the other once again, tune into the whispers, and come back to our routines and practices, over and over and over again.
6. Rinse and repeat.

You’ve seen these people; the ones that have chosen Option B. They seem to have this beautiful flow happening between the things that pay the mortgage and the ones that feed the soul (and while I’m on my soapbox, it’s OK for these things to be different, that’s another blog for another day).

Some Option Ber’s seem to maintain this beautiful dance, bouncing from one part of life to another, taking time when they need it, finding focus when required, and gracefully navigating all the in between. Sometimes it appears as if they have all the time in the world for everything. And when you sit with them, you get that same sense, that they have all the time for YOU (some call it Einstein time).

Do these Option Ber’s have something we don’t? No. Do they ever falter? Absolutely (please see steps 5 and 6 in Option B). But in general, maybe 60 to 80 percent of the time, they have tuned in to the sweetness of balance and the subtle cues that help keep us there. They live life as one all-encompassing scale and respect the ebbs and flows, the positive and negative, the wins and the punches.

Of course there are a million external and internal factors that play into one’s ability to live in Option B AND everyone can choose to tune in to the burnout cues or numb out. We can do our damndest with the resources we have to head back towards Option B.

And there are certainly seasons of our life and situations where one piece of life will take precedence, where that feels safe and ok.

There are also jobs that push for more work than the other stuff, as I’ve said in every single blog on balance, Know Thyself. Does that work for you or not? For some it does (it might even give energy more than it takes it away). For some it doesn’t (and burn out creeps on to the horizon). Only you know for sure if it works for you.

If you have no choice but to stick with something that’s pushing you out of balance, are there things you can do to find even a glimmer of Option B living, maybe even just for 5 minutes in your day?

• Focusing on the physical sensations of a few deep breaths at your computer.
• Sitting in your car for a 2-minute meditation before heading into a house full of responsibilities.
• Taking a quick block walk during an overwhelming amount of family holiday time.

It’s ALL life my friend, here’s to seeking more balance in all of it.

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