Even with all my reading, teaching, and work on this journey towards a balanced life, that stupid, snarly voice wants to tell me,
1) This work is selfish,
2) I don’t have it “as hard” as others so for some reason,
3) that makes me undeserving of the work. Gah, that tricky brain…
Now through all of this work, I know logically that honoring what I need makes me the BEST me for others. It allows me to give more to everyone in my fullest, most present, most peace-driven self. I know logically the true me is kind and gentle and wants to share the world with those she cares about. And I know the work I do allows me the space, time and creativity to give at my best.
But I also know that when you’re in the space of a hurt brain, logic does you no favors. Remember, you can’t fix what’s broken with the thing that’s broken, no matter how much your brain would like to convince you otherwise.
So this is where we need to double down on those simple awareness practices, we need to fight a little harder to find our peace, and then we need to honor every little genuine whisper that tells us what we really need to heal. No matter if your brain barks, “selfish,” “not enough” or that you “should not” have to honor your boundaries. Smile at that brain, laugh at that thought, and get back to tuning in to your true self, and what she needs.
Here’s a picture of the me’est of me, sitting on my most favorite stoop in the deep humidity of summer (which I adore…I know, not for everyone). I spend every morning I can working out here, soaking in the summer, hair messy and curly from the heat, an easy, comfy t-shirt, a laptop on my lap, coffee by my side and a dog at my feet. No makeup, a workout and a shower to come later. THIS is the me’est of me, and the one I’m choosing to honor as much as I can.
Want to join me? Dig into who you are at your core. Use your mindfulness (or just a few breaths throughout the day) to help find it. Don’t focus on the work you or the mom you or the sibling you, focus on the you that is in your soul — and then ask her what she needs. You might come to find by giving her what she asks for, a whole new level of focus, inspiration and true presence for the people who respectfully benefit from what you have to offer, will open up.